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I scared Elena. “Ewwww. Mister not OK?” Yes, extremely intelligent. I straightened up and realized I needed to get my act together. I was a representative of the United States, and vomiting all over Moldova was not a really good example of professionalism. “Come. Go home. You sick man.” She took my hand and pulled me to her house, a good hundred yards away, seemingly in the middle of nowhere. Must’ve been a farm house. Hopefully the little pieces of my personal catastrophe didn’t hurt any innocents. There are obviously a few of them here. One just found me.Upon reaching the house, she showed me a chair to set my pack and took me to the kitchen for some water. I saw a woman lying on the couch. Covered in a blanket looking for all the world to be in worse shape than me.Elena told me, “Alina. Mama. Cancer. Doctor no fix. Nurse send home to me.”I went to the mother. “Do you speak English?”“No. Not much. I hear Elena yell ‘airplane fire’ from outside then she runs toward. Not smart child.. . who's youngest, here?" Marie asked, with sudden alarm. It turned out she was, by about a month."No way," she protested, and folded her arms."You don't want to make out with Jason?" Lissa teased her friend."Uh..." Marie clearly was embarrassed. But something compelled her not to lie outright. "I don't know," she finally admitted."Well, try it," Lissa taunted. "How about for less time?" Hey, who said these dares could be negotiated?" Marie complained."Isn't this my dare?" I interrupted, and both girls looked over at me as I were the man from Mars."So you're saying you want to do it or not? Make out with Marie?" Lissa asked me, businesslike."Uh, no comment," I finally said, diplomatically, exchanging a glance of resignation with my sister."So since the dare says it has to be with the 'youngest person of the opposite sex' and since you refuse to decide, it's really up to her, right?" Are you planning to be a lawyer?" asked Frank, with a laugh.Lissa just grinned and stuck out her tongue..
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I do not look forward to when I am trapped on a toilet with the copious fluids rocketing from my backside. Or even worse when you are trapped on that cold throne wondering if you should keep your behind there or if you need to quickly replace it with your head as the acidic liquid travels from your stomach over your taste buds and out your mouth like a violent projectile splashing into the ceramic basin. For a split second you feel relief from the escaped vomit, your settled stomach thanking you for the relief but then you taste it the bitter sourness of bile that urges on a companion for the basin. How I hate these days of the flu, my brain doesn’t seem to work correctly and the simplest of tasks become monumental. Your body cries out with each touch as if you are left a human voodoo doll and every touch is the witch pushing his pins deep into your skin, even putting your socks on leaves you breathless and sweaty. The days seem like weeks, the hours like days and the minutes like.

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